Pizza Portnoy (Vintage Crew)

🍕 EXTRA CHEESE, NO ACCOUNTABILITY 🍕

Straight from the brick oven of bad faith, it’s Dave “PizzaBoy” Portnoy—slinging hot garbage disguised as financial advice with the enthusiasm of a man who just discovered meme coins (for the first time… allegedly 🙄).

This iconic print captures Dave in full "Who, me? Dumping?" mode—fake surprised face, greasy fingers still warm from snatching your liquidity, and a chart that looks like a pizza slice—straight up, then straight down.

💀 Features:

• 100% Washable Integrity™ (won’t hold up after one cycle—just like Dave’s token picks)
• “Totally Not Insider Trading” distressed vintage print
• Pre-faded for that ‘bought the top’ aesthetic
• Limited Edition (until Dave pivots to the next grift)

Rock this tee, grab a slice, and remember—one scam, everybody knows the rules.

🍕 BUY HIGH, SELL NEVER.

This oversized sweatshirt features a vintage-inspired worn effect that makes for a casual street look. Made from 100% combed cotton, the shirt is soft, skin-friendly, moisture-absorbing, and breathable, designed for seamless transition between seasons. The heavyweight fabric drapes in a way that reflects quality and refinement.

• Crew neck
• Drop shoulders
• Oversized fit
• Washed effect
• 100% combed cotton
• 32 count plain weave
• Pre-shrunk
• Washed and easy to fade
• Fabric weight: 440g/m²
• Side-seamed construction
• Binding taped neck and shoulders
• Ribbed collar, cuffs, and hem

Wash on the reverse side with neutral detergents. Do not soak, expose to the sun, and bleach. Iron, steam, or tumble dry at low temperature(max 30℃ or 90℉).