Pizza Portnoy (Oversized Tee)

🍕 PUMP FAST, CRASH FASTER 🍕

One scam, everybody knows the rules—Dave “PizzaBoy” Portnoy just discovered meme coins! (For the first time, totally organic, absolutely not coordinated, definitely not a dump scheme. Right, Dave?)

This iconic tee captures that exact moment—Portnoy wide-eyed, cash in hand, playing dumb while his followers get slow-roasted like a dollar slice at 2 AM. You already know he’s pulling the plug the second liquidity dries up.

🚨 Features:

• 100% Washable Ethics™ (Fades like his accountability)
• "Dave’s Definitely Not Dumping" vintage print
• Guaranteed to tank in value the second you buy it—just like his bags
• Limited Edition—until Dave rebrands as a crypto guru

Wear it loud, wear it proud, and remember—if you lost money, that’s on you.

🍕 One scam. One pump. One giant L.

This boxy t-shirt is the perfect addition to your casual wardrobe. Made from premium-quality cotton, the tee offers an experience of ultimate luxury and comfort. The fabric is soft and smooth against the skin, with a weight and texture that feels substantial without being too heavy. The boxy cut provides a relaxed and effortless fit that allows for ease of movement, while the minimalist design adds a touch of sophistication to the overall look. Available in an assortment of stunning color options, this t-shirt is versatile enough to be worn with any outfit. 

• Crew neck
• Drop shoulders
• Loose fit
• 100% combed cotton
• 26 count plain weave
• Pre-shrunk
• Reactive-dyed for long-lasting color
• Fabric weight: 280g/m²
• Side-seamed construction
• Binding taped neck and shoulders
• Double-stitched ribbed collar
• Coverstitch cuffs and hem

Wash inside out in cold water on a gentle cycle with mild detergent. Do not bleach, soak, rub, or wring. Wash with like-colored garments. Hang dry and avoid direct sunlight. Iron, steam, or tumble dry at low temperature(max 30℃ or 90℉).